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memory » our own share of conflict
Kashuu Kiyomitsu is the first of your comrades to be found after the alarm sounds, but he hesitates to tell you what's going on, why it went off at all. he only says, "Imanotsurugi..."
That alone deplets your patience on the spot, worry and frustration spiking, and you demand, "What about Imanotsurugi?"
It's reluctant, but he finally answers. "It appears he left for Mt. Atsukashi by himself."
Before you can even think, your body's already moving, charging forward to follow Imanotsurugi with single-minded determination, to talk some sense into him, to bring him back. What he's doing is wrong - changing history and helping his master survive beyond his time. It goes against your mission. It isn't right.
...But Kashuu rushes to stop you, insisting that you have to wait for orders from your master to move out. And you know he's right, but even so -
An agonized, wordless scream rips itself from your throat, and you swing your naginata wildly, just cognizant enough to aim anywhere but at Kashuu. Distantly, you hear him call your name, but all you can do is back away and swing your blade, again, again, again - as cutting down imaginary foes will temper the frustration and despair raging within your heart.
However long it takes, you have to run out of steam eventually. And when you do, you say softly, "It's my fault. I'm sorry."
If you had simply been a better guardian and comrade - a better friend - then surely Imanotsurugi would never have done this. He never would have gone against your or Master's wishes, no matter how strongly he wanted to see Yoshitsune-kou. He would have understood, but in letting this happen, you've failed them all. If only you'd been more patient and hadn't yelled at him, then maybe...
"These bodies are inconvenient," you find yourself admitting, as Kashuu turns to you in surprise. "Whatever we think, whatever we feel, it instantly reflects in our actions." You look down at your naginata with its powerful crescent blade, pensive. "When we were mere tool, that didn't happen. All we had to do was obey our master."
It was much easier then. Would that it could be that easy now that you can make your own choices.
"When we obtained these bodies," Kashuu says, "We received our own share of conflict."
You turn toward him, brow knitted in confusion. "Conflict?"
"Yes. That's what humans call feelings or emotions."
"Feelings? Emotions?" you echo, thoughtful. "...Sounds complicated."
All he can do is agree as you consider this, nothing more to offer. He must be struggling in much the same way you are. But what are you supposed to do about it?
"This is," you recite, reminded of a certain proverb, "because that is, right? We have no choice but to accept it."
"What?"
"Everything is because something else is. Nothing can be without something else being."
"It's not about what's wright and what's wrong?" Kashuu asks with a frown.
"Indeed. And therefore, we have to accept it all. Those are the teachings of Buddha." He seems elated by that for some reason you don't understand. But he doesn't elaborate, so you simply move on to explain with a heavy heart why this situation with Imanotsurugi is your own fault, and your responsibility to fix. "Although I understand how he feels, all I did was argue. I'm a disgrace."
"But you don't have to go after him by yourself," Kashuu reminds you. "We are comrades."
You don't have a chance to respond before the war horn goes off, signaling your master's call to arms. The two of you answer without hesitation.
That alone deplets your patience on the spot, worry and frustration spiking, and you demand, "What about Imanotsurugi?"
It's reluctant, but he finally answers. "It appears he left for Mt. Atsukashi by himself."
Before you can even think, your body's already moving, charging forward to follow Imanotsurugi with single-minded determination, to talk some sense into him, to bring him back. What he's doing is wrong - changing history and helping his master survive beyond his time. It goes against your mission. It isn't right.
...But Kashuu rushes to stop you, insisting that you have to wait for orders from your master to move out. And you know he's right, but even so -
An agonized, wordless scream rips itself from your throat, and you swing your naginata wildly, just cognizant enough to aim anywhere but at Kashuu. Distantly, you hear him call your name, but all you can do is back away and swing your blade, again, again, again - as cutting down imaginary foes will temper the frustration and despair raging within your heart.
However long it takes, you have to run out of steam eventually. And when you do, you say softly, "It's my fault. I'm sorry."
If you had simply been a better guardian and comrade - a better friend - then surely Imanotsurugi would never have done this. He never would have gone against your or Master's wishes, no matter how strongly he wanted to see Yoshitsune-kou. He would have understood, but in letting this happen, you've failed them all. If only you'd been more patient and hadn't yelled at him, then maybe...
"These bodies are inconvenient," you find yourself admitting, as Kashuu turns to you in surprise. "Whatever we think, whatever we feel, it instantly reflects in our actions." You look down at your naginata with its powerful crescent blade, pensive. "When we were mere tool, that didn't happen. All we had to do was obey our master."
It was much easier then. Would that it could be that easy now that you can make your own choices.
"When we obtained these bodies," Kashuu says, "We received our own share of conflict."
You turn toward him, brow knitted in confusion. "Conflict?"
"Yes. That's what humans call feelings or emotions."
"Feelings? Emotions?" you echo, thoughtful. "...Sounds complicated."
All he can do is agree as you consider this, nothing more to offer. He must be struggling in much the same way you are. But what are you supposed to do about it?
"This is," you recite, reminded of a certain proverb, "because that is, right? We have no choice but to accept it."
"What?"
"Everything is because something else is. Nothing can be without something else being."
"It's not about what's wright and what's wrong?" Kashuu asks with a frown.
"Indeed. And therefore, we have to accept it all. Those are the teachings of Buddha." He seems elated by that for some reason you don't understand. But he doesn't elaborate, so you simply move on to explain with a heavy heart why this situation with Imanotsurugi is your own fault, and your responsibility to fix. "Although I understand how he feels, all I did was argue. I'm a disgrace."
"But you don't have to go after him by yourself," Kashuu reminds you. "We are comrades."
You don't have a chance to respond before the war horn goes off, signaling your master's call to arms. The two of you answer without hesitation.